Mash WordUp

Things that I think and do

www what? A life without internet


Some things that would be if the Internet didn’t exist…

  • I’d have perhaps 75% fewer friends than Facebook claims I have.
  • I wouldn’t know the theory behind circular breathing.
  • Keeping in touch with friends and loved ones would be phenomenally expensive and, quite frankly, wouldn’t happen much at all.
  • I might have to actually talk to someone at the railway station if I wanted to buy tickets in advance.
  • I would never have managed to get into Lost, or any other TV series, in such a big way.
  • I wouldn’t have to go through my Facebook history and purge pretty much everything from 2009-2013 because I was young and it’s embarrassing.
  • I wouldn’t be asked to sign petitions that a) I don’t care about and b) will clearly achieve nothing.  Not as often, anyway.
  • I wouldn’t be able to play virtual Scrabble™ with a man named Graham (or at least, someone who claims to be called Graham).  I wouldn’t even have virtual Scrabble™.
  • I’d spend an awful lot of money sending CVs and job applications and letters to ask people inane queries.
  • You wouldn’t be reading this.  Obviously.
  • This blog wouldn’t exist, in fact (again, obviously).  But since it does
  • I might actually know who my bank manager is.
  • I might actually know who ‘Olivia’ from the letting agents’ is.
  • I almost certainly wouldn’t eat as many takeaways.
  • I’d be completely out of touch with any sports results.
  • Nicki Minaj would have continued to be a name which means nothing to me.
  • I would play so much Solitaire on my computer.  If I even had a computer.
  • I’d definitely have got a ticket to, got off the train at, and been lost in Penarth that one time instead of knowing to get off one stop earlier.  Because I don’t own a map of Cardiff’s suburbs.
  • No-one would have ever told me that Xbox controller buttons are designed to withstand 3 million presses.  Although I still wouldn’t care if they did.
  • I’d never have seen this hilarious and utterly pointless collection of photos.

3 comments on “www what? A life without internet

  1. caronbot
    November 10, 2014

    Not a single porn joke. I am impressed.

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This entry was posted on November 10, 2014 by in Culture, Humour, Internet, Social Media and tagged , , , , , , , .
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